Drunk men outside bars.

Drunk men outside bars.

I don't know about everyone else's experiences but I do know about mine.  Being of the bald women variety I find that drunk men on the street always seek me out.   I am not entirely sure why but they feel the need to connect with me. They first call out to me with a compliment, for example "hey beautiful lady! We both dont have hair", usually accompanied by a staggered movement of the body following their hand gesture to get my attention.  I think to myself "well, they did say something nice. I'll say thank you".  So, I keep walking but say thank you.  They follow. Shit.... Okay, I stop and turn for the drunk talk time. It is a bit silly. But I really don't want him following me to my car, I don't even know his name.  So, I ask him.


The Failing Chameleon - "Hey man, what's you name"

Steve - "Oh, I'm Steve. I like your head. You are a (big drunk emphasis here) beautiful woman"

The Failing Chameleon - "Hey, Steve, thank you, I appreciate that. I am going to go but you stay and enjoy yourself."

Saying their name makes them feel like they are special and that they know you heard them. This usually makes them feel like they accomplished something and move on to something else.

Steve - "But you know, we have the same haircut.

He smiles and rubs the top of his head. Apparently, because we have the same "haircut" we are now good friends and should hang out.

The Failing Chameleon - "yea, looks good on ya! See you around"


I scamper away through a crowd.  I am short and I find that the best way to get away from people I don't want to deal with is to disappear.  A crowd of tall people are just like a magician's puff of smoke to me.  I always end up walking away with the same feeling.  If people are so accepting of bald women when they are drunk why are they not accepting of us when they are sober?